The Book Connection
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When my son, Michael, was still crawling, long before he had any clue that the squiggles on a page formed letters or that those letters formed words, he fell in love with Thomas the Tank Engine. That is, he fell in love with the book Thomas the Tank Engine . Michael never went anywhere without it: We'd read in the bathtub, on the way to the supermarket, at the playground. The day we left it at Grandma's house was not a happy one for anybody. While other kids cuddled in their cribs with a beloved stuffed animal, Michael snuggled up with that chewed-on, spit-up-on little book. My son is starting high school this fall, and that book still holds a place of honor on my bookshelf - and in my heart.
Thomas the Tank Engine reminds me of a precious time in our family's life. With Michael nuzzled against me, fresh from the bath and smelling of baby shampoo, we were both relaxed and happy. We'd read, and read, and read yet again, first his favorites and then mine. Harried, frazzled, and sometimes frantic as I was in those days, I was lucky to realize that the simple act of reading a story together could bind us in ways large and small. Reading is a catalyst for learning, to be sure. But as every parent discovers, it's also an enchanting way to transform a day that might otherwise be remembered solely for its irritations, exhaustion, or tears.
Needless to say, reading to your preschooler reinforces the basic mechanics of delving into a book: A child learns that words are read from left to right across the page and that the pages of a book are turned the same way every time. Some may be old enough to notice that the little marks and squiggles that show up among the words mean something. At this age, a child is constantly tuning his ears to new words and patterns and using his newfound language to make sense of the world as well as to communicate needs and feelings. If he's grown up in a book-rich home - one in which books have an important place and reading together is a cherished tradition - he's also much more aware of words and numbers and may even joyfully shout out those he recognizes, like "stop" and "exit." He may even begin to practice spelling or writing his own name. Encourage those loops, swirls, and zigzags.
Books afford myriad ways to connect with a child that go far beyond sounding out words. They are invaluable tools for helping youngsters cope with life's inevitable ups and downs. "Through books, your child learns how to handle problems he may be having or will soon face," explains Melanie A. Katzman, Ph.D., clinical associate professor in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical School in New York City. "By hearing about how another child coped when his favorite stuffed animal was lost, struggled to use the potty, or separated from Mommy at nursery school, he realizes that everybody has these problems, and they seem much less threatening."
How can you continue to nurture this cognitive and emotional connection? As a parent, your job is not to teach your child how to read, but rather to teach him to want to read. These suggestions can help:
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Make reading an anytime, anywhere activity. Push the pause button on your life and begin a family reading ritual. Create a reading corner complete with pillows, your child's favorite stuffed animals, and art supplies. Set a regular reading time so your children can look forward to it. This shows your child how much you value the activity. Bedtime is a great time for reading, but be open to serendipitous times throughout the day to share a story. If your preschooler fidgets while you read aloud, don't insist that he sit still. Give him paper and crayons or markers so he can draw while you read. Though he may not look like he's listening, he is.
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Spark his imagination. Make reading a fun time, not a drill. Your preschooler is beginning to empathize with the characters in a story, to recognize his mischievous/frightened/loving/silly self in many of them. So if he wants to digress - to jump off the bed and imagine himself as a pirate, a prince, or a superhero - let him.
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Remember that stories don't have to come only from books. Why not make up tall tales about your child's favorite toy, or have a stuffed animal tell a story about itself? Ask your child to pick three people - a friend, a relative, and a teacher, say - and create a story using them as the main characters. Or insert your child, Zelig-like, into a story he loves. Does Babar have another friend who lives in the palace?
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Draw him into the process. Ask your child questions about the story, or have him describe what's happening on the page as you read: What does he think will happen next? Point out similarities between a character's life and his own: Does he have a yellow hat like George? Does he feel angry sometimes like Alexander? Discuss what you see in the pictures, or let your little one pretend to read to you.
- Understand the importance of "again!" Weary parents may cringe after the eighth reading of Green Eggs and Ham, but repeated readings not only build vocabulary and comprehension skills; they also bolster a child's self-esteem. Very little in a child's life is predictable, and "no" is a word he hears all too often. When you agree to read a book over and over again, he gains a small measure of power and control. He knows those silly monkeys will finally throw down all the caps they stole from the sleeping peddler. What a great feeling!
- Create your own books. To encourage a non-reader, make your own reading materials. Together cut up sturdy pieces of fabric or cardboard into square "pages." On each page glue a large, colorful picture of your child, family members, pets, or toys. Add pieces of sandpaper, fabric, or other textured materials, and write a word or two in large, clear letters under each picture. Bind the pages together by sewing, stapling, or using a three-hole punch and yarn or ribbon.